Another “Earthquake Book,” in which I discovered that the more fairy tales and fantasy you learn (and practise!) as a child, the better grasp you have on reality as an adult. Who knew?
I’m not big on Freud. In fact, let’s say that it’s an extreme understatement to say, “I’m not big on Freud.” So I approached The Uses of Enchantment, by Bruno Bettelheim (who was a Freudian psychoanalyst who worked with children), with — shall we say — just a bit of caution and scepticism.
But! I found so much to value in this book. One of the most vital insights, for me, was that engaging in fantastic play, and identifying with the characters in fairy tales, gives a child a chance to express and work through his or her inner antagonisms and fears, without spilling over into the real world and doing some potential harm.
A child can feel pretty helpless against those giant people called her parents; when they want to exert their wills — taking her to get her shots or get her hair cut, making her put away her toys, insisting she eat her peas — there’s not much she can do to stop them. It would be easy for inner resentments to grow, even while she knows that she really shouldn’t have bad feelings about these people she essentially loves. So how can she resolve this inner contradiction?
Fight a giant! Or cheer Jack on when he climbs the beanstalk and steals the goose that lays the golden eggs. Or, if she has both the negative and positive feelings toward a parent, she can externalize both at once, as Grandma and the Wolf, and watch the hunter slay the Wolf while Grandma remains intact. She gets her triumph, works out the resentment, and her parents survive in real life. Win-win.
The child can go on adventures and overcome being the youngest, or the dumbest, or whatever place his siblings have assigned to him in the family hierarchy. He can safely take risks, learn courage, even beat up his brothers — all while continuing his real world non-threatened existence.
There’s a lot going on in fairy tales. Yet some adults frown on them. So Bettelheim addresses the question of why people would want to deny them to children:
Some people claim that fairy tales do not render ‘truthful’ pictures of life as it is, and are therefore unhealthy. That ‘truth’ in the life of a child might be different from that of adults does not occur to these people. They do not realize that fairy tales do not try to describe the external world and ‘reality.’ Nor do they recognize that no sane child ever believes that these tales describe the world realistically.
Yet the inner function of the fairy tales is precisely to help the child sort out reality from fantasy, and learn to act in the real world with clear eyes.
I was once invited to a class of kids to talk about dragon myths. I have rather a *koff* extensive collection of dragon figures, posters, key chains, etc, and I know a ton of myths about them. So I talked about some of the dragon stories, using my figures as illustrations.
As I was describing the Norse conception of the three-level world surrounding the World Tree, Yggdrassil, with the eagle in its top branches and Nidhogg the dragon gnawing its roots, with the squirrel Ratatosk running up and down the tree carrying insults between them — one young boy (he might have been ten) sternly told me that these stories were lies so there was no point in learning about them or being interested. He didn’t smile once through the whole class, and didn’t look like he was even capable of smiling.
I still wonder what became of him: whether he cracked, whether he loosened up, or whether he’s a joyless fanatic plotting somewhere to turn my country into a theocracy and close all the theatres and bookstores.
I had always loved stories and myths, even as a kid. But I loved them even more when I read Bettelheim’s book and discovered that not only are they wondrous and enchanting, but we need them in order to learn to function in the real world. How cool is that!